


My Bleeding Heart

by 123oops_hi321



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Angst, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Depressed Louis, Eating Disorders, F/M, Famous Harry, Happy Ending, M/M, Manager Liam, Mpreg Louis, Niall owns the shop, Non-Famous Louis, Post Mpreg, Prostitute Louis, Prostitute Zayn, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Single Parent Louis, anorexic louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-09 23:42:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3268658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/123oops_hi321/pseuds/123oops_hi321
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>International 21 year old pop star Harry Styles just came out to his fans. But instead of celebrating, he is alone at home mopping over having broken up with his boyfriend 3 years ago.<br/>So he decides to get laid.</p><p>OR this is what happens when world famous Harry Styles meets a beautiful boy with a big bum and not enough money, who is hiding more than one secret.</p><p>TAGS ARE SPOILERS!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't hate me 'cause it's over

([x](http://s1301.photobucket.com/user/123oops_hi321/media/XyTXWBFWSveVUrXhjeNHgUNZjpg20150131-3-e9deme_zpsb6c0b589.jpeg.html?sort=3&o=0))

Harry locked his phone. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He should feel accomplished and happy and be at a club to get laid. He should be celebrating finally coming out. But it felt so wrong. He had always imagined how coming out to his fans would happen. But in all the versions he came up with, even the ones where he was not supported by his fans and media, there was someone by his side to hold him when he came back from the interview.

But obviously, it had turned out completely different. After the interview, Harry had hurried home straight away. He had eaten an entire pizza for dinner to celebrate and drank almost a whole bottle of champagne. It was probably no wonder he felt sick now.  
His flat was nice, for sure, big and new in the posh part of London. But it was also empty and white and not homey at all. And worst of all it was lonely. Maybe he had denied himself happiness when he broke it off with his first and only boyfriend at 18. He had felt tied town and wanted to make it big. That was at least one thing he had managed to do.

He was one of the richest people in the world, he was the one with the most twitter followers of all times and each time he released an album or single you could be sure to find it _#1_ in seemingly every country. Harry knew he should be happy and he was most certainly grateful to the fans, especially because they supported him despite his personality. But in his stressful life with constant jetlag, he was missing a constant. He wanted something (or rather someone) to come home to and to thank if he wins at the Brits and to cuddle at night. But being a gay, world-famous, good-looking 21 year old does not make it easy to find someone to love. And it’s not even as if he wanted just anyone. He was still heartbroken over the boy who had stolen his heart when he was only 16. Maybe breaking it off had been a mistake, but they probably wouldn’t have lasted anyway.  
Still, he missed him badly. His ex had stopped calling him only a week after Harry had left and soon after, he had changed his number so Harry couldn’t call him anymore. So he guessed at least one of them had moved on.

Harry knew he was mopping and he was not proud of it. He hated being alone and he had been lonely for too long. Hell, he hadn’t even had sex since the break-up and he was pretty sure that the biceps on his right arm was beginning to bulge more than the left due to all the wanking he had been doing lately. He was angry at himself for drowning in self-pity, because he knew that it was his fault alone and that he could have been happy tonight instead of eating too much junk (which would certainly make him go to gym the next day because he feels guilty) and playing angry birds on his phone till 1am. But it was not his fault that despite being young he would have wanted children by now but this was definitely off limits. He could just imagine HIS children, how pretty they would look running around the house, how HE would pick them up and kiss their noses before going to work at... Harry didn't even know what his ex could be doing now. He had been so caught up in his own world with his own wishes, he had never even listened to him. Harry knew that he had wanted to go to uni to study but he did not have a clue what it could have been.

He felt guilty. But deep inside he knew that the break-up was a good decision. Even though it turned out to be hard on him, he hoped that his ex had been able to move on and find a better boyfriend than Harry had been. That was when Harry decided he needed to move on and forget that boy. He just needed to get laid. Moreover, he needed to get laid right now. The only problem with the plan was, that Harry neither wanted a guy who only wanted to get fucked by the famous Harry Styles in order to sell the story to the papers nor did he want someone too drunk who would end up staying the night because he was not capable of walking straight. Not that anyone could possibly be able to walk straight after being topped by Harry but you catch the drift.

This is how Harry found himself covered in beanie, coat and scarf, because he didn't want to be recognised. He had chosen to walk for two reasons: On the one hand, he didn't want someone to identify the car and on the other hand, despite planning on picking up a prostitute, he did not want it to be like a drive through at McDonald's. Maybe it would be safer to go to a brothel, but he felt terrible uncomfortable with the idea of fucking someone in a room in which thousands of others had had sex before him. Even though it was going to be sex with a prostitute and would therefore not mean anything at all, he wanted at least a small amount of intimacy.

The September air was chilly. (Who was he kidding it was like 100 degree celsius below zero. He lived in England after all) He was walking slowly along the quay. This was not the most common place for prostitutes to wait for their clients, but Harry had come here because someone (Nick, maybe?) had told him they all wore leather bracelets in either red or blue or both in order to show what gender their clients should be. There were mainly girls, most of which wore only a blue bracelet, but they were not what he was looking for. Finally, he spotted some lads at the end of the street. Most of them were looking bored and really slutty. Still, he couldn't help but feel sorry for them. He knew that most of these people here did not want to do this, but they had to for various reasons. No, Harry definitely wasn't proud of being here, but he was just so damn desperate to forget his ex-lover that it felt like the only solution.

Finally, two boys  caught Harry's eyes. They were standing in the dark, and he couldn't see them properly, though he only deemed that fair because he himself was in disguise too. They were talking quietly and appeared to be more alert than the rest of the boys. Even though both of them were wearing almost nothing, they didn't look as sleazy as the others. The first had his seemingly dark hair in a quiff and looked quite muscular. The other boy was quite a bit shorter. Harry could only see him from behind. And even though Harry found him way too thin, he had a bum to die for. He must have sensed Harry staring and turned around. But it wasn't him who spoke, it was his partner: "Yah want him? He's two hundred the whole night." Harry just gave a nod and beckoned the boy to follow him.

Harry didn't talk while walking. He thought the lad wouldn't want anything to do with a stranger that would fuck him for money. Also, Harry felt guilty for doing something so low. He knew his mother would be so upset if she knew about this. But then again, he would probably treat the boy better than most of his other clients. The boy was trailing a little behind him. He was only wearing [yoga-shorts](http://s1301.photobucket.com/user/123oops_hi321/media/il_fullxfull379938273_iabx_zps7f6623a3.jpg.html) and a crop-top. Suddenly, Harry became hyper-aware of the fact that this poor boy must be freezing.  
"Aren't you cold? You can have my coat if you want!", he said and started peeling off his coat, which caused his scarf to fall off and reveal his face. The boy had caught up with him and looked at him for about a millisecond before turning around and dashing off. Harry took after him and grabbed his arm to turn him around. What he saw was very far off from what he had expected. Under the light of the streetlamp, Harry could clearly see the most wonderful blue eyes he had ever seen. He saw the scrub the boy - or rather man - had and his extremely prominent cheekbones.

"Louis", Harry chocked out, shocked.  
"Let me go!", Louis said emotionlessly.  
"Please Louis, listen to me. Come in, I can get you something to eat, you look like you need it and-" "As if you knew what I need. You didn't care then, why should you care now. You left me then, so you should let me go now. Let go of me or I'll call the police. You wouldn't want those headlines tomorrow, so shortly after your coming out scandal, would you?", Louis interrupted his rambling, speaking coldly, sounding hard and unforgiving. 

But Harry was close to begging: "If you don't want to come in, that's fine, but let me at least drive you back. I'll even pay for the night! I know I messed up, I do, and I know this will not make it any better, but please just let me bring you home-" he broke off in an ugly sob. He hated himself so much. He didn't want his Louis, his beautiful, wonderful Louis, the only boy he had ever loved to live such a life. And he knew that he had very likely contributed a lot to him ending up here. "Fine.", Louis said wearily, as if giving up. He knew there was no use in trying to fight Harry when he got like this. 

The ride to Louis' flat was awkwardly silent. Harry couldn't stop thinking about how much Louis had changed. He had dark bags under his eyes, which weren't as shiny as they were three years ago. He was extremely thin, which made him look even more fragile and small than before. His cheekbones were sticking out and the only thing on his body that was not completely flat or even inwardly curved, was his bum, which was just as brilliant as when he was twenty. He had let his hair grow a bit, he wore it in a tousled mess and he also had some facial hair now. Harry couldn't deny that he looked almost unbearably hot but at the same time very tired and sick. He couldn't help but wonder, what might have possibly happened to this gorgeous boy that he had to earn a living like this. He couldn't help but feel guilty, if he had only stayed with Louis, they could have both lived happy lives, seeing that Harry had more money than he could possibly spend. Because he was feeling guilty like that, he was glad to see, that Louis did not live in the really shitty and dangerous part of London. Still, it was an area in which flats were very cheap and not very big.

He had hardly stopped the car when Louis was already getting out. "Wait", Harry called. "I haven't paid you yet." He thrusted 400 pounds in Louis' hands and smiled sadly: "200 for a whole night is not enough Lou, you should charge more." 

And with that, he was off, knowing Louis wouldn't want to take the money from him, he had always wanted to be capable of supporting himself.   
Louis watched him drive off, a slightly perplex and melancholic look on his face.

 

 

[This](https://twitter.com/HowBlueMetGreen) is my twitter. 


	2. Unworthy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SELF-HARM, SELF-HATRED

Louis opened the door to the flat. He knew he needed to go back to work, but he had just met the boy who had broken his heart. The boy who was the reason for his miserable live. And he had got 450 pounds tonight from Harry and some guy whom he had given a blowjob. This was more than he had had in his fingers since the cold started. When it’s too chilly, there are less clients and as a consequence he makes less money. He would have to make sure that he would still have enough to pay the rent of the flat. If there was one thing he did not want, it was for his daughter to grow up in a dangerous environment, where drug dealers wait on each corner and if you live to be older than 20, you are basically ancient. It wasn’t even as if he had a nice flat now, there was a bedroom and a bathroom and then a kitchen with a joined living room. It was hardly furnished, safe for a bed, a sofa, a few shelves and a box of toys. But it was definitely better than what would wait for him and his daughter if he could not pay the rent anymore.

He laughed humourlessly. ‘200 is not enough for a night.’ What the bloody hell did that popstar know about life as a whore? Absolutely nothing. Even 250 would be too much. Others offered cheaper service and he didn’t even look half as good as them. Even though there are not many boys who offer to have sex with men, the clients would just as well buy the service of a girl. Even if they are gay, they usually don’t care about genders; they just want to fuck someone for not very much money and without strings attached. Louis loathed it. But he knew he didn’t deserve any better. If he was lucky and the guy paid for the whole night but fell asleep after sex, he could sneak out and sell himself another time the same night.

He went to the bathroom to brush his teeth despite not having eaten since the morning. He looked at himself in the mirror. What he saw certainly didn’t please him, but he knew that he wasn’t worthy of anything else. His arms were littered in bruises (his whole body was, actually, but at the moment it was still hidden behind his crop-top and shorts) and he was pretty sure he had one broken rib from one of his clients kicking him while Louis was giving him head because Louis wasn’t expressing his pleasure (which he certainly wasn’t feeling, mind you) enough. He hated his body. No, he was most certainly not anorexic; he did not have a distorted body image. He knew exactly that his collarbones were sticking out, his cheekbones were too prominent to be healthy and you could see his ribs. Basically, he was skin and bones. But as much as Zayn and Niall were always trying to coax him into eating, he knew that he didn’t deserve it. Food was something nice, and he was such a gross person and a failure, he didn’t deserve anything nice. Also, he could save money if he didn’t eat as much. He had to feed his little girl and pay the rent. Because she was all he cared about. He would’ve most likely accidentally killed himself by not eating and sleeping if it weren’t for her. He wanted to be there for her and work towards a better life. He had some savings and if he was lucky, he could maybe afford to go to uni in 6 years (he had calculated it precisely) to study something intelligent like law, that would help him get a well-paid job, and get a minor in drama, which had always wanted to do.

Of course, he would still have to work the afternoon’s at Niall’s shop and probably also go to the quay at night, but he would happily do that if it meant that his baby could get a good education and a better life than he had. He was so tired. But he didn’t deserve sleep either. The poor don’t get to sleep. In fact, everyone is poor for a reason. Louis’ reason was that he was a fuck-up who had never done anything else than piss everyone off and disappoint them.

For example Harry. Sweet, gentle, caring Harry. He knew that the break-up had been his fault. He hadn’t deserved Harry just like he didn’t deserve food or sleep. It couldn’t have possibly been Harry’s fault. He was too sweet and caring and Louis had tied him down and stopped him from following his dreams. But even though he probably hates Louis, he offered to make him food and to drive him home and he gave him a shitload of money for doing nothing at all. Hell, he wanted to give his expensive Burberry coat to a bloody prostitute he didn’t (or thought he didn’t) know.

He stripped down and looked at his body. He looked disgusting. Other than the bruises from the beatings, an the skin hanging down because Louis was so thin, he still had loads of tattoos, some of which had been couple tattoos with Harry. Of course, this meant that every time he was looking in a mirror, he was reminded of his own stupidity of thinking Harry could possibly want him for longer than just a few years. But worst of his appearance, were the angry red cuts and faded scars littered across his hips and upper thighs. Some of them seemed to be infected and Louis prayed that he wouldn’t get a blood poisoning because then he would die (because who the hell is capable of paying hospital fees nowadays anyway) and his little darling would be left alone. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from selfishly reaching for the razor again. Maybe his sweetheart would be better off in an orphanage anyway. This is the 21st century after all; they would probably feed her well and send her to school.

He twirled it between his fingers inspecting it for a moment before he moved it towards the soft skin of his hips. He had found out soon, that clients were repulsed by visible cuts on arms or thighs. But as soon as the clothes come off, they couldn’t care less what’s underneath. Louis was pretty sure that some of them found pleasure in pressing their fingers into the cuts and reopening them while pounding into him. But that cruelty was one of the things he had got used to and had stopped caring about after only a short time in the business. Actually, it was a good distraction from feeling so dirty and used when those men were taking him for their own satisfaction. Knowing that he was the one who had caused the blood that began running down when they were too rough with freshly healed cuts gave him a feeling of control. Only he could do that to his body. No, Louis was definitely not a masochist, he didn’t enjoy being beaten and abused, especially not during sex, but the pain always helped taking his mind from how inadequate and gross he was.  
He gripped the razor tighter.

Slice. He didn’t deserve food.  
Slice. He didn’t deserve sleep.  
Slice. He didn’t deserve love.  
Slice. He didn’t deserve to have an education.  
Slice. He didn’t deserve his daughter.  
Slice. He didn’t deserve a family.  
Slice. He didn’t deserve Harry.  
Slice. Harry.

Blood was dripping down his thighs onto the bathroom floor. He was trembling. The last few cuts had been deeper than most he had ever done. But he just felt numb. And so tired. He didn’t even feel the pain the way he had wanted. He wanted to sleep and not wake up. But that would be selfish. And weak. His daughter needed him. He washed off the blood, but more came gushing out. Like a fountain, he thought. Kinda pretty. He felt slightly dizzy. He though that maybe he needed to bandage the cuts but he had found long ago that he wasn’t worthy of taking care of his body. Moreover, it was really no use in bandaging those, if he was going to cut again the next day. Oh, he was really very dizzy and he loved it. He couldn’t think clearly and even though he wasn’t even feeling the pain properly today, this is what he had wanted. Just forget. This is a cheaper way to forget than alcohol. He pulled his shorts up again over his hips. That would have to suffice. They were so tight, they would work like a compression bandage, right? Louis wasn’t even sure anymore what you would possibly need compression for if it’s bleeding, I mean, why the hell would you press down on a wound?

He was cold. The blood was slowly soaking his shorts. He stumbled into the bedroom. His darling was fast asleep in the middle of the one-man bed. He smiled at his little angel all bundled up in blankets. He was always so scared of leaving her alone. Louis slipped in beside her, he only wanted to hold her for a minute. No, he wouldn’t allow himself to sleep, he had already slept for 3 hours last night, he didn’t deserve anymore repose. He held her close and ran his hand through her pretty curls. No, he wouldn’t sleep. He just felt a little dizzy. It wasn’t going to be a problem, he would go out again and work. Yes, he would. His sight blurred, but it was only tears of happiness because he could be with his babygirl. This was an emotional night for Louis. He would be alright in a second. The room slowly started to tilt and Louis felt himself being enveloped by darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's pretty short. Dunno when I will be next updating, but I'll do it asap. (If anyone actually wants to read that story at all...)


	3. Make me feel less lonely tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies!!  
> I am so happy that people actually enjoy this story :)  
> Thank you so much for all those nice comments and kudos, it means so much to me.  
> SO here you go with part three :)  
> Sorry about the ending, it's not that good. I will try to update on saturday. Lots of love.

The bed squeaked. Harry had been tossing and turning all night without closing his eyes once. He couldn't believe that Louis had to prostitute himself and was living in poverty - if the way he had gaped at the money Harry had given him was any indication. Harry felt sick just thinking about how the older man had looked at the banknotes almost in awe, as if they were his life-saviours. (Maybe they were, Harry wasn't sure if he wanted to know) 

Finally, after finding he wouldn't be able to sleep that night, Harry got up to make some tea.

Despite living alone, his cupboard with tea in it was completely overfilled. There were just too many different types of tea and Harry would be lying if he said he knew what the differences between the different brands of tea were. However, being a faithful Englishman, he always drank tea but bought even more than he could ever actually consume. Still, he wasn't expecting a box of Yorkshire tea falling down and landing on floor just in front of his feet. 

Harry felt like crying. Of course he had forgotten that yesterday, in his mind-state of nostalgia, he had bought some of his ex-boyfriend's favourite tea, which was now standing in front of Harry's usual tea. He couldn't help but wonder if Louis still loved it as much and if he was possibly up right now, having a cuppa. Harry just hoped that the lad had at least slept some more than he himself had. He looked down on the tea box feeling the tears threatening to roll down his cheeks and that was when he decided that he couldn't let Louis do this to himself. 

From this point on, his whole morning went by in a blur. Harry wasn’t sure whether he actually did have his cup of tea and he had no recollection of having dressed himself. The only thing he remembered was getting into his car and driving probably way over the speed limit. 

This is how Harry found himself standing act Louis’ front door, not knowing if he should knock or not. He was quite scared that if the flat didn’t have a doorbell, it would look even worse on the inside. He didn’t want the love of his life to live in such a mess. He had hesitantly lifted his fist to knock. He waited. Nothing happened. He knocked again. When there was still no response, his eyes drifted towards the potted plant next to the door.  It looked like a miserable palm tree, which probably hadn’t had any water or seen any light in years. He almost smiled. This was typical for Louis. He bent down next to it and ran a searching hand through the soil. And really, there it was.

Who else would possibly hide the key to their flat in a plant pot? He took the key and guided it to the lock.  Suddenly, he hesitated because he realised that this would be breaking into his former boyfriend’s flat. Then again, Harry was completely worried that something might have happened to him. In this profession it was probably very easy to get hurt. He knew that it was probably not his place to look after Louis, not after all these years during which the older boy had been doing just fine. (At least as far as you can do alright while prostituting yourself) Maybe Louis just didn’t want to see anyone. And he himself was probably the last person he wanted to come for a visit.

In the end Harry’s worry won. He carefully opened the door and looked around. He was standing in what seems to be a joint kitchen and living room. He felt kind of guilty when he realised that this room was smaller than just his own kitchen.

“Louis?” he called out silently in order not to scare the older man. However, he got no response. Was Louis not home? If yes, had he gone to work again at night?

Therefore, Harry made his way into the next room which appeared to be a bathroom. It was small, had only a shower, a sink with a mirror and a toilet in it and it was stocked with nappies. Harry left the tiny room before spinning around so quickly he almost got whiplash. What the hell did Louis need nappies for? Was he married? Is it even possible for a prostitute to be married? Does the husband know about Louis being at the quay at night? Was living with his baby sister and brother? What the hell had happened in just three years?

Harry carefully closed the door behind himself. Now that he was observing the living room more closely, he saw what he hadn’t seen before. On the wall there was a small shelf on which he found, next to books like Harry Potter, Hamlet or Giovanni’s room, a collection of books for very young children. On the ancient looking sofa there was a penguin made of plush and behind said couch, lied a children’s edition of Joseph Jacob’s fairy tales with loads of pictures in it.

In spite of feeling guilty, because he was basically a burglar, Harry didn’t stop now. He had to know what had happened to his beautiful boy (he probably should stop calling him that, but well) and therefore he proceeded to go to the next room which was, like he had assumed, the bedroom. The bed wasn’t made and in the middle of it, a big white teddy bear was sitting. It was the one that Louis had won for Harry at the fair once, but he had left it behind just like he had left his boyfriend. 

Harry curiously opened the wardrobe. It had four shelves. Three of them were filled with baby clothes. Most of them seemed to be girl-clothes that would probably fit a two-year-old. The fourth shelf seemed to be divided into two sections. On one side, there were normal everyday clothes, while on the other side; the clothes seemed to be more controversial. There were panties and slinky shorts, crop tops, tank tops and other things that would have made Harry’s trousers tighten if he hadn’t known that Louis was wearing that for strangers.

He carefully pulled out a pair of panties. And they were pink with frills and flowers on them. He hated that his ex had to wear these, because he knew how much Louis hated them. He had always told Harry that he would rather not wear anything under his trousers at all than wear panties, because he always felt so restricted in them. He carefully folded them again and put them back.

That was when he saw the edge of a book underneath the underwear. He pushed the panties aside to look at it and he had barely gotten a glance at it when he slammed the door with tears in his eyes. It was the photo book him and Louis had made back when he was 17. He thought, Louis would've thrown it out, because yesterday he had sounded very hostile and unforgiving. (Well, Harry couldn't blame him really)

He felt like shit, because not only had he not found Louis, but he also cruelly broke into his home and searched his things. It had neither helped calm Harry’s guilt (it had actually rather fuelled it), nor had he found out, where Louis was, and why he had ended up in such a messed up situation. At the same time, he knew that all he wanted was for Louis to be his. Unlike before, he had some hope that Louis might take him back despite all that had happened. Still, Harry was convinced that it wouldn’t be easy to get the smaller man to talk to him and let him help, because Louis was a very stubborn person when it came to his independence. 

~~~~~~

Harry was restless. After he had left Louis flat feeling in a hurry, blaming himself for just breaking in, he drove directly to the quay. Obviously, in broad daylight no one was there. Next, Harry aimlessly cruised through the city, not knowing where to go. Finally, he gave up and ended up in the street Louis lived on. He decided to go to the coffee-shop/bakery that was situated on the other side of the street and watch the building through the window in order to know when Louis would come home.

Just as Harry entered, a dark-haired man pushed past him out of the door. He looked kinda familiar, but Harry couldn't really put his finger on it. The shop smelled nice of freshly baked goods and coffee. Harry realised that he hadn't eaten anything yet, so he went up to the counter, where a blonde lad was greeting him. The name tag said "Niall". He ordered some Yorkshire (god, he was an idiot, he didn't even like Yorkshire and drinking it would sure as hell only make him cry) and a tuna baguette (which was huge and Harry was pretty sure he wouldn't be capable of eating it seeing that he had eaten an entire pizza just the night before).

Harry was digging for his wallet, when the man behind the counter said: "Congratulations on coming out, mate. If you don't want to be bothered, I suggest that you go over there and sit at the with the little girl over there" and he pointed to a small window in the corner from which you could see out of the window with only a small chance of being seen yourself. Harry paid, thanked him and walked over to the girl who was wearing a paper crown and happily colouring away on a peace of paper.

"Hello, your majesty, may I have the honour of sitting with you?", Harry asked in a sweet voice.

The girl looked up, giggling and nodding, and Harry was stunned. She was probably no older than three and she had beautiful curly hair, much like Harry did. Her eyes were blue and sparkled and Harry was reminded of Louis. Except that Louis' eyes were missing that sparkle now, not crinkling with a smile the way the girl's did.  
"She looks a lot like you, doesn't she?", Harry heard a voice behind himself and turned around. It was Niall, the guy from behind the counter. "You forgot your sandwich, popstar"

"Oh, thank you. And she does look a bit like me, doesn't she? Why is she here on her own", Harry smiled.

"She's not here on her own, her father works here. I think he just went outside for a bit, he's feeling a bit dizzy today. Poor lad, overworking himself, alway tell 'm to eat and sleep a bit more, but he won't listen. Alright, now, gotta get back to work. I mean, actually I don't have to 'cause this is me own restaurant but yanno, customers and stuff.", the blonde laughed, gave the girl a kiss and walked away.

The girl excitedly showed Harry her drawing. It was mainly a scribble, so he didn't really know what she had meant to draw. He wanted to ask when she started babbling happily. Then, pointed to the first blob of colour. "Daddy.", she said. The next blobs seemed to be "uncuu See and uncuu Nall".   
After telling Harry that the blue, huge scrawl was her "otha Daddy", he said smiling: "And this pretty pink one are you, am I right?"

"Yes!!", she squealed in delight when he recognised her piece of art. She beamed at him, gave him the picture and said: "For daddy!"  
"This is for your daddy? That's nice, do you want to bring it to him?", Harry asked.  
"NO, otha daddy!", she said in frustration and pushed his hand holding the image towards his chest.

He was about to say something when he heard a very familiar voice: "Darcy, my love, don't annoy the poor man!"  
Harry flinched. He couldn't believe that Louis had named his daughter (he was just going to assume) Darcy. HE had wanted to name THEIR first daughter Darcy and now Louis was raising a child with that name with someone else. He was so jealous of that "Other daddy", because he wanted that beautiful child to be his. In that moment, however, all his hope had been blown away.

This is when said child started pouting and said: "But daddyyyyyyy! Otha daddy!! Look daddy!! Look!"   
Louis then finally looked at Harry and paled. "Harry", he croaked hoarsely. "It's not what you think, she's not-" However, before he could finish his sentence, his legs gave in and he fainted. 


	4. Blurry Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took longer than I initially hoped. I'll try to update again soon.
> 
> And again, thank you for your supportive comments and the kudos!  
> Lots of love and have fun. xx

Louis woke up to a constant beeping. Blindly, he tried to reach out to turn off his alarm clock. He was such a failure, despite not wanting to sleep and not deserving the sleep, he had fallen asleep – again!

However, as he tried lifting his arm, he realised that it was tied down. He squinted his eyes open, but his sight was blurred. He attempted to lift his other arm, then his left leg and his right. Nothing happened, he couldn’t move. Louis panicked. Had one of his clients done this to him?  Was he part of some weird sexual phantasy? Was his daughter fine? Hopefully Zayn noticed that he had not come back and went to look after her. Or maybe Niall realised that something happened when he didn’t appear a for his shift at the shop. He was so scared for his daughter’s sake, he felt like throwing up. He didn’t want her to grow up as an orphan.

Suddenly, he caught a female voice quickly approaching. (Strange, why the hell would he have a female client? Did she give him drugs and knocked him out?) He heard the door open and then the voice said: “Ah, Mister Tomlinson, I see you are finally awake, you've been asleep for almost 5 days. My name’s Sophia. How are you feeling?”

Louis was desperate. He needed to go and see his daughter. Getting rid of the last bit of dignity he had still left, he croaked out: “Please let me go. I’ve got a little girl at home. She’s got nobody else. Please don’t keep me here.” He blinked hard, but his eyes couldn’t focus.

“Sir, I’m afraid we cannot do this. You’ve got two broken ribs, you are severely malnourished and those cuts on your hips are extremely deep and infected. You will have to stay here until they are healed, which will be about another two weeks. And as sorry as I am about this, afterwards you will need to go to a recovery clinic because you are very clearly suffering from anorexia and self-harm. However, I can assure you that your daughter is in good hands. Mister Styles offered to take care of her and seeing that he has enough money and time at his hands at the moment, your friends figured that this would be the best solution.” the voice answered again.

Louis tried not to go berserk at that. Obviously, he was at a hospital. Darcy was with Harry, which he was most certainly not alright with. Knowing Harry, he would probably insist on paying for the hospital bill and treat Louis like the charity case he was.

“But why can’t I see? Why am I tied to the bed? Why am I even here in the first place? I don’t need help, I’m fine! I don’t have anorexia! I don’t have a distorted body image! I want to go home! I need to see my daughter. I cannot afford this all. I need to go to work, she cannot be with Harry. He’s gonna take her away from me because I cannot care for her properly and he also has rights that I denied him even though he is her father and when she’s gone I’m gonna be all alone and then your efforts of helping me were in vain anyway because then I’m gonna kill myself I SWEAR”, he ended in a scream that turned into an ugly sob.

He felt the tears run down his cheeks and he was chocking. He hadn’t meant to say all this, but once he got started he couldn’t stop. He heard the nurse shift probably quite awkwardly and then she said: “It’s definitely not my place to say anything about your personal life, because I don’t know what you’ve gone through, but I’m sure that Mister Styles is not going to take your daughter away.  
My boyfriend, Liam, is his manager and best friend and he is only ever saying good stuff about him. Nevertheless, I think you need to have a serious talk. He didn’t even know that you were the one who carried her. He probably figured out himself that he is her second dad. It was probably a whole lot for him to take in, but he has already asked to visit you multiple times and he is determined to pay for all of your treatments.  
As to your medical conditions: You fainted because your body was reacting to the long-term starvation and blood loss. It didn't help that you obviously haven't slept much lately. Your sight however is only blurry because we had to take out your lenses when we made an x-ray of your head because we were scared that your skull cracked, it was reported that you hit your head on a table when you fell. You can get new ones if your head is not hurting. Also, I'm sorry about the ties, but we've had anorexic people rip out the infusions because they were scared of the nutrients and that might have just killed you."

"I'm not anorexic", Louis repeated. 

"Only because you know that you are too thin and you don't have a distorted body image only means that you don't have anorexia nervosa. Anorexia per se is an eating disorder, not depending on the cause. And you seem to be suffering from a very severe type of eating disorder. I'm no psychologist obviously, but I only want to help you. You don't deserve to be mistreated like this by yourself and others. To be honest with you, you were assigned a different nurse initially. It's her first year here and she couldn't handle to even look at your body. She walked out of the room crying because she was so upset that someone could suffer so much that he would have to do so much additional damage to his body. But just imagine how much good it will do your little one if her daddy is finally stronger and healthier and can play with her more. Imagine what a recovery from your problems will do", the nurse answered sweetly.

Louis decided he liked her. She didn't know about him and how inadequate and unworthy he was. She was just a genuinely good person who wanted to help and believed that all people are good. Louis wasn't good and he definitely did deserve to be treated in such a way. But he didn't say so. The woman was just too sweet and he didn't want to ruin her impression of an ideal world with ideal people and such. He also didn't say that a recovery would not be of any use. As soon as he would start going to the quay again, he would need some distraction. The distraction he could only find in tormenting his body. You cannot recover if the causes are not eliminated.

The nurse took his silence as Louis' way of "accepting" his fate. She smiled and left the room, promising Louis that she would make sure that Harry and his daughter would visit soon and that she would bring him lenses. 

He just wanted his daughter and he wanted to get out of that bloody hospital because he wanted - needed - to go to work. He didn't want Harry to pay for all of this and he was terrified because Harry had found out about Darcy and now Louis had destroyed his popstar-life. He didn't want to make the younger lad feel bad about having left him, because he knew that leaving him was the best thing Harry had done in his life. He was famous only because of this.

Sophia had told him that Harry wanted to see him. He knew that he would have to answer so many questions. He wanted to turn back time to the point when Harry came to the quay. He should not have allowed Harry in his weak moment to drive him back and thereby basically give him the permission to stalk Louis. If he hadn't done that, he would be at home now with his girl, without bothering anyone. 

But no, Louis was absolutely useless, always standing in everyone's way and not being able to give to people what they deserve.  
He couldn't be the son his mother wanted. No, he had to be a slut and get pregnant by a boy living almost two driving hours away.  
He couldn't be the boy Harry wanted. And on top of that, he gave him a child and a hospital bill.  
And worst of all, he couldn't be the dad Darcy deserved. Harry would be a much better parent. Harry was strong, rich and not as fucked up.

In that moment, Louis decided that if he ever got out of that bloody hospital bed, he was gonna kill himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter you will get to know some of the back story.. Sorry about keeping you at bay.... xD


	5. Your side of my story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explanations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for those short chapters. Idk if it takes everyone else so long to write even just 1000 words. I think after this fic I'll rather try some one-shots and see if i can make one longer than 2k ;)  
> Hope you like it!!!  
> xx

Harry entered the hospital carrying a little girl in his arms. HIS little girl. It was funny to think that he had gone from a lonely single celebrity to a father who has a daughter and an anorexic and self-harming ex-boyfriend to take care of. He was just lucky that Liam had organised his tour in three-months time and until then he could take some time off.   
His life had been turned completely upside down, but he didn’t know yet if it had changed for the better or the worse. Harry just prayed that Louis would let him be part of Darcy’s life and let him help the two of them. Then maybe, if he was really lucky, Louis could forgive him for leaving and take him back one day. 

They took the elevator and went to floor five from where they went straight for Louis’ room, in front of which they met Sophia. She smiled when she saw them and gave Darcy a wave and Harry a kiss on the cheek, to which Darcy reacted with a death glare and a “Mine Daddy” that was mumbled into Harry’s neck. Sophia laughed at that and told her, that she had no intentions of stealing her father from her. She also informed them that Louis was probably sleeping at the moment and that they shouldn’t wake him up nor touch him on his hips or ribs because he had an "ouchie".

Harry thanked her and set Darcy down. The little one was dressed in a pretty white dress and was holding her plush teddy, which Harry had come to know as the one, and only toy she ever played with. (Actually, he had tried to soothe his bad conscience that came with knowing that he hadn’t been there for her during her first years of life by buying her presents, but she had rejected all of them. She only wanted that one teddy. Harry found it quite endearing how much she already was like Louis.)

                                   

As soon as he opened the door, the tiny girl toddled towards her dad's bed. Harry laughed and picked her up to set her down next to Louis. She gave Louis a slobbery kiss on the cheek and started stroking his arm while singing: "Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie, 'waaaay f'om daddy! Love daddy!"  
( _Ouchie, go away from daddy. I love daddy.)  
_ Harry wanted to cry. A two-year old managed to give Louis more love and care in a mere minute than Harry had given him in the two years they had been together. He had been a terrible boyfriend.

To keep himself from crying, he tried to distract himself with looking for a vase to put in the bouquet of roses they had brought.   
(Said bouquet was about as big as Darcy, but Harry couldn’t make his daughter hate him after only a few days by not buying the exact flowers she deemed good enough. She had already thrown a fit when she realised Louis didn’t come home with her and in protest had hardly slept at all. She was quite a handful, but she had him wrapped around her little finger. Besides, Harry was convinced that Louis did't deserve any less than the biggest and nicest bouquet there was.)

When he came back half an hour later, after - with the help of Sophia - finally finding a vase in which all the roses fit in at once, Darcy was curled up next to Louis, sound asleep. Louis however was awake and looking at Harry as he entered the room.

"Hi", Harry said slightly awkwardly. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright", Louis answered eloquently. Then they fell silent once again, the only sound being the beeping of Louis' heart monitoring and Darcy's regular breathing. Harry sat down on the chair next to the bed.

"How's your family?" He finally asked.

"I guess you should know that better than me. Seeing that Darcy is staying with you." Louis answered a bit harshly, eyes flicking towards his sleeping angle.

Harry sighed: "She's doing well, but she misses you loads. She doesn't want to go to sleep without you. But you know that's not what I meant, Lou."   
He hadn't meant to use the nickname, it had just slipped out. Louis however didn't seem to even realise.

"They're not...I mean we're not...It's just hard you know? It's really hard to even think about it and now you're here and I kept all of this from you and now I'm ruining your career by giving you a daughter you didn't want and now you want answers and I just...I don't know how to start." Harry waited. He knew if Louis was going to tell him, then he would tell him at his own pace.

Louis clearly felt on display, being tied to the bed without being able to even move his arms, but finally, he still spoke up again:

"When I found out I was pregnant, I was obviously terrified. It was still during our time together, when I was sick all the time and I went to the doctors'. I was so scared of telling you because what kind of man is capable of carrying a child? Nobody, except for me, because I'm a freak! I kept it to myself for quite some time. It was on the day you left that I actually wanted to tell you. By then, I was a bit over two months along. I had brought a sonogram with me to show you but when you told me why you wanted to go, I realised that it would be only selfish and cruel to tell you and ruin all your dreams. And I knew, I just knew that if I had told you, you would have stayed instead of becoming a singer and doing what you want to do. So I let you go and took the sonogram with me. 

When I got home, I put the picture on the bedside table, where it stayed. It was stupid of me to think that nobody would find it there. But then again, maybe my fucked-up brain wanted my mum to find out without me having to tell her. However, about a week later around I was asleep, because due to the hormones and you leaving me, I was worn-out and desolate. I didn't hear my father come in. He found the sonogram and saw the date and my name on it... I don't think he ever liked me because I wasn't really his son and he suspected that I was gay. He freaked out. He hit me and he...he...tried to kill her."

Louis broke off, gasping for air. He hadn't noticed that he was crying.

"He disowned me, kicked me out. I couldn't even say goodbye to mum or my sisters. He probably told them I ran away. I went to London because I thought I'd have the best job opportunities there. I was very lucky, the first shop I came across was Niall's and he was looking for help. The lad's too good for this world, he took me in, pregnant and all. I didn't even pay any rent, I used all the money on the doctor visits and stuff for my baby. He didn't even care. Immediately after Darcy's birth, which was on the 2nd of April, I soon started working again. I hated depending on Niall and living off him, even though he is my daughter's godfather. Still, the money didn't suffice for my own flat. 

This is when Zayn comes into the story. He's the guy who was with me at the quay. He's a good friend of Niall and also a regular at the shop. He told me to try prostitution, because for him, it was working out quite well. He's kinda a high-class prostitute. He's really expensive and his clients are usually rich elderly ladies. I think he enjoys it, being adored by them and making them swoon. I definitely didn't find the easy money in prostitution the way he did, but as I said: I was desperate to get out of Niall's hair.

Niall wasn't happy about my decision, he knew it wouldn't be good for me. He would probably gladly still have me live in his flat now if I hadn't moved out. He's already paying me so much more than I deserve... From the very beginning, I always brought Darcy to the shop. In the beginning, I put her in the back room in an improvised crib. Now that she's eating proper food, it's very convenient because Niall always gets her whatever she wants. And I mean literally anything. He once got her broccoli-mash even though we don't sell anything involving broccoli. This leaves me with more money for clothes and the flat, because I don't have to buy her breakfast and lunch. Moreover, Zayn is usually there during the mornings anyway, playing and drawing with her.

But after all of this, there's one thing I want you to know: I neither want nor need your help. Don't you dare feel guilty, because none of this is your fault. You gave me the most precious thing I've ever had and that's more than enough. You shouldn't worry about us, you can go and be a star and if you want you can even visit every once in a while. I don't want you to be guilt-tripped into staying and supporting us. We're gonna be alright. It's just gonna take me six more years and then I can go to uni and support her properly the way she deserves. But please don't take her away from me. She's my world."

He looked up. Harry was crying silently, little hiccups shaking his body. After what seemed like an eternity, he slowly calmed down and said:

"I don't really know how to react to this. Because of course I feel guilty. And Lou, I would have given up everything if I had known. I still would give up everything. I swear, two weeks after I left I realised that I missed you so much. I wanted you back. But you never picked up your phone. It makes sense now, why you wouldn't. I even wanted to go to your home, but your family had moved away. For the past three years, I felt so lonely, you wouldn't believe it. Please Louis, let me take care of you for once. Please go to the clinic and let me pay for it. We don't have to have a relationship Lou, but we could start with a friendship.

Together we could give our daughter the life she deserves. I could pay for your uni studies. You could stop going to the quay. Of course, you could still work at the shop, because I know you want to make your own money. When I'm on tour and away, you could take an online course. That way, there's always someone around her. Because as much as I believe that Niall and Zayn are absolutely wonderful uncles, Darcy cannot grow up in a coffee shop. She needs some changes, some kids her age, but at the same time, she needs stability, parents who she can rely on and knows that they will be there. 

I'm her father too you know. I have rights too, and I have duties too. You shouldn't have to pay for her on your own. And please don't pretend you never missed me. I saw the photo book. You gave our daughter the name we had chosen together. She knew I was her other dad, which means you must have talked about me.

I don't want to do this because I feel guilty. I want this because I still love you and I know the biggest mistake I ever made was giving up what we had. I want to fix you, because I cannot stand seeing you this miserable. Now that I've seen what I've missed these past three years, I don't want to miss any more. I want to be part of both of your lives, I want to see her grow up. Please Louis, give me a chance to make it right this time."

Louis looked up at him through his eyelashes, then down at the girl who resembled the man before him so much. "Alright", he whispered.

 

And that was the moment Harry realised that Louis' depression was far worse than he had thought.


	6. Take me Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo sorry for taking so long. Thank you so much for all the support. MORE THAN 100 KUDOS DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME??? ILY ALL!!  
> This chapter is set 6 month after the last one.
> 
> This is coming to an end. I'm sorry the ending isn't half as good as the rest was. There is probably gonna be an epilogue after this and that's that. 
> 
> I'm probably gonna try and write one-shots after this, i don't think I was made for writing long fics.  
> xxx

**6 months later (March 2016)**

 

Harry was nervous. No, actually he wasn't just nervous, he was completely stressed out. The whole afternoon, he had been pacing up and down the house. (Yes, he had bought a house in the hope of getting Louis and Darcy to live with him. The only problem was that Louis didn't know about his luck yet.)

Everything looked impeccable. Liam and Zayn were currently hanging up the “welcome home” garlands, while Niall and Sophia were watching Darcy. The rest of the guests were to arrive soon. Harry just hoped they would be here on time, because in already half an hour, he would have to go pick up Louis.

 

Louis, who had been in the clinic for just about five-and-a-half months. His time there had been easy neither for Louis nor for Harry. Just one week after he was released from the hospital and admitted to the institution, he had tried to kill himself by hanging himself with the bed linen, but thankfully, the bedding wasn’t strong enough to hold even the lightweight that was Louis and ripped.

After that, they put him under constant supervision. Even though he had gained weight only slowly, he seemed put on a few pounds and due to the permanent surveillance, he stopped cutting. After three month, he had looked almost like a healthy person again and they wanted to discharge him, but the night before Harry was supposed to pick him up, he had managed to somehow get past the bars on his window and had jumped down.

Luckily, his room was on the first floor and he only broke his left leg and caught a few scratches and bruises. Obviously, they couldn’t let him go after that incident.

Harry had known. He had told the people at the clinic, but they didn’t listen. He had told them that Louis was not that kind of person to let others help him. He had told them that Louis might try to do something stupid. He had known that Louis would never let Harry take care of him and take over his responsibilities like that. He had handed Darcy to his ex-boyfriend and knowing she was in good hands and didn’t need him, he saw no reason for him to live anymore. But those idiots wouldn’t listen to Harry.

In the medical file they had given to Harry now, it says “incalculable”. They didn't know if he is okay. They didn't even know if he was ever going to be okay. Harry might come home some day to find Darcy hunched over her daddy’s lifeless figure, with blood everywhere. But Harry has sworn 6 month prior that he was going to prevent this with all his might. He wanted Darcy to have two parents and he couldn’t make the same mistake again and lose Louis once more. In a few years, he wanted to come home after a long tour to a lively house with twenty-seven children and Louis burning spaghetti.

And tonight was going to be the beginning of this forever. No wonder he was bloody nervous.

 

Also for Harry and Darcy, these past months had been no walk in the park. Liam had luckily understood the situation and let Harry postpone the tour. (And in return he received the title “uncle”.)

Darcy however was angry that Louis was not there. She was upset that she had to move out from her home and she thought that they were taking her away from her daddy forever. (The girl had started to call Harry “Papa”, because the confusions between her two fathers started to be irritating.)

Now however, their daughter was absolutely content, because her uncles were there and she was told that her daddy is going to come home.

Harry had completely talked his plan through with her. She was thrilled especially after she asked him if she could get a baby sibling now that daddy is coming back.

“I do hope that one day you _will_ get one”, Harry answered and that was all it took for the toddler to take off and tell Niall, Zayn and Liam that she will have a baby sister or brother.

 

~~

 

Louis was confused. He was standing in the doorway of a quite big and beautiful house where he had never been before. On the walls to the right and the left he found drawings and paintings that were obviously made by Darcy. Just after their arrival, Harry disappeared at the end of the corridor, telling Louis to wait. It was suspiciously quiet.

He didn't really know what he wanted to do with his life now that he was out of the clinic. He knew that it wouldn’t be fair on Harry and Darcy to go kill himself, not after all the younger man had done to help him. Still, Louis knew he was a burden on him. Because after all, he was a failure who stopped uni after two years and was without any qualification whatsoever to get a job other than wiping tables at Niall’s or selling his body, which he knew Harry would never allow.

Suddenly, he heads a squeal and a very pretty girl was toddling down the corridor towards him as fast as she can, hugging his leg. He laughs silently and crouches down to take her into his arms. She was wearing a cute pink dress with a rainbow-coloured belt and butterflies on it. You can leave it to Harry to dress his daughter in something that makes her parent's gayness obvious. Her curls had grown and were framing her little face like a halo.

                                                        

She started pulling Louis towards a door on the right while babbling about a surprise and everyone else waiting and her father was more than willing to make his girl happy and comply.

The first thing Louis realised was that the room he was lead into was obviously the living room. There were garlands and balloons everywhere and on the sofa on the right hand side, he found Zayn, Niall, Sophia and Liam. Harry was standing next to them and the other two couches were empty.

Suddenly, Darcy let go of him and a body came crashing into him, nearly making him fall over from the impact. He got a face full of hair and the person is sobbing into his neck. Before he could register who that person even was, more people started joining the hug, all of them murmuring his name and apologising and Louis didn't even know what for and he didn't know who they were because he got hair in his eyes and he couldn't breathe. He tried to take a big breath and started crying too, because he would recognise the smell of this detergent anywhere.

“Mum!” he gasped. “Mum, mum, mummy, mummy, mum, you’re here”

And he cried into her neck, telling her he is sorry for not being a better son while she was trying to convince him to stop hating himself, that it hadn't been his fault, that she was sorry for marrying such an arse and that he is not a freak and that she loves that he was capable of having the little sunshine that is Darcy.

Finally, she pulled back, letting Louis hug his sisters, all of them saying how much they missed him and that they would have rather wanted their own dad gone than Louis. That he had told them that their brother had run away but they didn’t believe him. Finally Fizzy found the sonogram and they realised that Louis would most certainly not have left without clothes and money and phone while pregnant. And finally they tell him that they have never talked to their dad again and that they tried so hard to contact him and only now thanks to Harry they manage to see him again. They told him how much they love him and they hope he can forgive them. And Louis didn't think he’s gonna stop crying anytime soon.

Finally, his mum pulled a man towards Louis introducing him as her new husband and father to her twins who are currently playing mummy-daddy-babies with Darcy and Niall. Dan, sensing Louis’ discomfort around a new “father figure” just smiled at him and didn’t even push him to shake his hand. Louis thought that maybe he was an alright bloke.

Eventually, when everyone’s rambling has calmed down a bit, Harry nervously cleared his throat, announcing: “Dinner is ready, but before we go eat, I would like to say something, so if everybody except Louis could please quickly sit down, thank you!”

Everyone settled on the sofas, except for Harry, Louis and their daughter. Louis was slightly confused, but he didn't mind it much, he felt happier than he had in a few years.

 

“Louis,” Harry started. “I remember running into you at the Script concert in the bathrooms and thinking you were the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I still think that. You always were the most handsome and the happiest person I knew and seeing you the way you were and thinking that it was mainly my fault was killing me. I know you think that I am doing all of this because I feel guilty, but you need to know that this is not the case. The truth is I was stupid and reckless. Leaving you was the biggest mistake I ever made.

During the last years I was pursuing my dream of being a singer, but still I was never as happy as before when I was with you. Even at your worst you made the whole room light up when you entered and I don’t think I could possibly ever stop loving you. Lou, you’ve given me everything I could possibly ask for, you gave me a beautiful, modest and well-mannered daughter, so for once, let me give you something back.

Let me be the one to fix you, Louis, let me be the one to take you to fancy dinners, to hold you while you sleep and wake you up with kisses and breakfast in bed. I have never ever loved anyone the way I love you, and I want you to be mine forever.”

Harry got down on one knee and pulled out the most beautiful ring Louis had ever seen. “So Lou, my Boobear, my one and only, will you marry me?”

Louis’ sight was blurry with tears. (That seemed to be a thing today) He was looking over to his family, his mum obviously crying again, then to his best friends who were giving him a grin and a thumb up and finally to his daughter who whispered, not so silently: “Say yes daddy! I wanna baby sista!! And a botha too. Or twenty. Please dadda!”

Louis smiled through his tears, finally looking down at Harry, who looked up at him with his big green hopeful eyes. And all he could do is chock out a “yes” before he started sobbing like a baby, falling to his knees in Harry’s arm.

“Love, are you alright, you don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to I-“ Harry started rambling, but Louis cut him off: “No, wanna, ‘s just a bit-” *sniff * “a bit much in one day ‘s all.”

 

Eventually, Louis calmed down enough for everyone to go into the dining room. Louis was trailing behind with his new half-siblings when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Dan, who smiled at him and said: “I don’t really know you and I don’t really know Harry, which I would like to change in the near future, but let me tell you one thing: The way he talks about you makes me think he loves you and your daughter more than life itself. He would have swum across the bloody Ocean to America only to reunite you with your family. He is the guy you need right now and I promise, we -as your family- are going to be there every step of the way, I will make sure of that. And I promise, I am going to be the best granddad your daughter could wish for."

Louis felt over the moon. Dan considered him family, knowing he was gay and a freak and absolutely pathetic. He was willing to give him the unconditional love only family can provide. He wanted to take his role as Darcy's grandfather and thereby Louis' father, even though he wouldn't have to, because Louis was not his biological child. Still, Louis felt more loved by that man he didn't even know than he had ever felt by Mark. He could definitely see why the girls were calling him "dad". 

He felt sudden rush of affection towards the man who was obviously taking such good care of his mum and siblings and he hugged him. He felt Dan tense at first, obviously not having expected such an outburst, but soon he relaxed into the hug, stroking his back and chuckling a bit when Louis kept whispering thank yous into his shoulder.

The rest of the night went well. Harry’s cooking was better than ever and everyone was getting along perfectly. It seemed as if Louis had been part of this family forever and it made his heart soar seeing Dan joking with Darcy, pretending his fork is a plane. His heartbeat picked up whenever he was looking at the ring and each time Harry caught him sneaking a peak, he smiled so proudly and Louis wanted to kiss him.

He grinned at Niall and Zayn who were openly flirting with each other – Louis had always predicted something would happen between them. He listened to his sisters’ chatter about what had happened while he was gone and what they wanted to wear to the wedding and that Louis definitely needed to wear a blue suit because he looked wonderful in blue.

For the first time since the day Harry left, Louis felt completely safe and content.

 

In the evening, everyone was leaving again even though the house held more than enough bedrooms. The next day however was a Monday and everyone had to work. After the final goodbyes and kisses, the fiancés got their daughter to bed, Louis inventing a story for her and Harry singing her a lullaby.

After, Harry laid Louis out on their bed, slowly stripping him down, leaving kisses all over his skin and whispering how beautiful he was and how lucky Harry was to have him. He made him come twice, once with his mouth and once with his fingers, all while whispering sweet little nothings into his ears.  Afterwards, he let Louis pull him close, happy with being the little spoon and falling asleep.

The next morning, Louis was woken up, the smell of pancakes in this nose, the sound of two voices singing and laughing in his ears and the feeling of light touches on his cheeks. He thought that maybe life is still worth living and that maybe he didn't deserve this but he found that he didn't care if he did or not.

At noon, Zayn came to pick Darcy up because “the customers miss her yanno”. The time after that was filled with having a long walk in the woods while talking about the future, cuddling on the couch, cuddling in bed, watching some shit reality TV, Louis making love to Harry (He was not ready to bottom just yet), Harry begging Louis to have another baby after the wedding and some more cuddling.

 

Well, Louis was pretty sure he could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOO Epilogue anyone? ;)


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7 years after the proposal, Louis is 8months pregnant with his and Harry's son.  
> He is working as an english and drama teacher at a primary school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO yeah idk. I just kinda didn't know where to go with this story but thank you so much for reading and thank you for 180 kudos!!! (WOW WTF!!! YOU ARE AMAZING I LOVE YOU ALL)
> 
> So this is the end, but I'll have some one shots coming soon, so if anyone is interested, please subscribe! xx

„So I was thinking about adapting Snow White for the production this year. The kids absolutely adore the idea of rewriting the fairy tale together, they have already thought about putting the dwarfs more to the centre of attention and talk about their story and why they live all alone in the woods. They have some truly amazing ideas, Mary and Jake for example had a small fight over who would get to play the evil queen and then finally they agreed that the king had to be just as evil as the queen. And that’s how Jake got the role of the queen and Mary is playing the king. It’s just really lovely to see that they get along so well and do not really care about gender roles because I think that’s what teaching should be all about, getting them to think liberally and use their imagination!”

 

The headmaster, Paul Higgins, smiled at Louis’ enthusiasm: “Well I am sure that this production is going to be a great success. I actually wanted to talk to you about where you wanted to show the play because since you have taken over the drama department, more and more people have come each year and I am not sure we can fit all of them into the school’s auditorium. Also, I was wondering what you are intending to do once you have your baby, because surely you will want some time off.”

 

Louis beamed at that and said: “Well, as I told you I will need a substitute for my English classes but my husband will be home for three month after the birth of our son and therefore I will be able to be here for a few hours every week for the drama classes and- OH!!” 

 

He broke off with a surprised but pained sigh.

 

“Are you alright Mr Styles?” Mr Higgins asked in a concerned way. 

 

“IT’S THE BABY! He’s not supposed to come just yet ohgodohgod what did I do wrong he’s going to die please help me do something HE CAN’T die please NONONONONONO!!” Louis screamed. By now, blood was starting to soak through his trousers and he was starting to feel dizzy because of his shallow breathing.

 

He didn’t really know what happened next because everything passed in a blur. He doesn’t remember being brought to the hospital, but here he was, doctors and nurses rushing in and out of the room.

 

But Harry was not there. He had missed Darcy’s birth but none of the other three girl’s. Louis was convinced that he could not go through this alone again. But Harry was in South Africa for the last two concerts of the tour, because obviously the baby was not meant to come for another month.

 

Louis would feel so much safer if Harry was here. Even though this time he would not be allowed in there because the birth was “high risk” due to the fact that something strange happened. (Louis had no idea what the doctor said happened but he DID know that it was life-threatening to his baby-boy.)

 

At least he knew that his girls were safe at home with his sisters, Zayn and Niall. He appreciated that his mum and Dan (dad, he reminded himself, but even after seven years it was difficult to comprehend that he actually had a father who was not related by blood but loved him just as much as he loved his own children) were outside, mentally cheering him on or something.

He was convinced, that Harry was freaking out at the moment.

 

~~~

 

Louis was right, Harry was officially freaking out. He was already in London at the airport because he had wanted to surprise his family by coming home one day earlier but they are not yet opening the plane doors and his husband was in a high-risk birth and could possibly die together with their son and Harry just wanted to be there.

 

When they finally opened the door, Harry was the first to rush out. He didn’t even bother to get his baggage, he was sure Liam was going to get it, because Liam is brilliant like that. He ran to the exit, got into a taxi and told the driver to take him to the hospital.

 

Upon arrival, Harry threw money at the driver (it was probably more than the man usually made in a week but Harry couldn’t be bothered) and rushed out the car to the front desk.

 

Even though Louis was on the fifth floor, Harry ran up the stairs (and tripped and hit his nose which started bleeding – but whatever) because he could definitely not wait for the lift. When he arrived in the waiting room, he met the shocked expression of his parents-in-law and Jay actually called a nurse for Harry’s nose before she even greeted him. 

(The nose was broken.)

 

Around three hours later, Jay and Dan left to go to the cafeteria, but Harry could not leave. Every five minutes, he had been asking how Louis was doing and if he could go in. So far, nothing had changed even though Harry was sure that Louis’ screams were getting louder and louder. He had not screamed like that during the birth of their daughters.

 

Suddenly, the cries stopped altogether. The only thing Harry heard was the beeping of a machine. He hoped it was the one monitoring Louis’ heartbeat, because then at least Louis would be alive.

 

The door was ripped open and a nurse was hurrying out. He tried to ask her what was going on but she ignored him and scurried down the corridor only to come back later with two more nurses and another doctor. Harry was scared to death. They needed more people which means something went wrong. Maybe his two babies were dying, maybe they wouldn’t make it, maybe Louis died already and this is why he stopped screaming and they were only trying to save their boy.

 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, but couldn’t have been more than half an hour because Jay and Dan were still gone, a nurse walked out, smiling tiredly. “You can go in now, your husband is alright, he is completely worn out and slightly delirious from the pain meds we gave him”

 

Harry felt relief flush through him before he realised something. “But what about our son?? Is he okay?” he almost screamed.

 

“We did everything we could, Mr Styles,” she said and Harry’s heart sank. They lost their baby boy. He felt like he was choking. Why the fuck is that bitch smiling at him like this is good news? Does she not have feelings, that witch??

 

That’s when the nurse realised how Harry had taken her statement and was quick to correct herself: “Oh dear, no, I’m so sorry, I worded that wrong! I didn’t mean to scare you. We did everything we could and we got him to breathe and he is just going through some check-ups but you can hold him as soon as the doctors are done. So congratulations on your son Mr Styles”

 

Harry couldn’t believe his luck, he had four beautiful daughters, the most wonderful husband and now he had received a son. He felt like he was floating while he was following the nurse inside. Louis was lying on the bed, looking very pale and exhausted.

 

“I love you”, Harry whispered. Louis looked up and giggled.

“Well hello,” he said. “Did I die and go to heaven? Are you an angel? I thought angels were naked all the time and I thought they were chubby not as strong and muscly as you are.”

“Lou! Love, it’s me, Harry?” Harry asked insecurely. Did his husband honestly not remember him? Was this a side effect of the medicaments? “You just gave birth to our son love, we’ve already got four girls at home!”

 

“Oh,” Louis said. “Well then I’m a lucky one.” And then he just turned and fell asleep.

 

~~~

 

When Louis woke up again 32 hours later, the meds had worn off. He was allowed to go home and take the baby with him.

 

The girls immediately swarmed their baby brother and everyone was laughing about how usually boys are protective of their little sisters but these four girls were certainly going to protect their brother with their lives.

 

But probably, nothing else could be expected of a family in which the one called “mummy” is actually not the one who had given birth to them. (Nobody really knows when or why Darcy started calling Harry Mummy instead of Papa, but he loved it and this is why he had a four daughters between the ages of two and ten who called him mum or mummy. It was quite certain that their son would do the exact same thing once he starts talking.

 

And if Harry took picture of the six most important people in his live and put it on instagram with the caption “I am the luckiest guy on earth. We love you William Edward Styles”, well then the whole world had to know that Harry had kept his promise and had stayed with Louis and Darcy through the good and the bad times.

 

And if Harry’s instagram was more of a homage to his family with only pictures of Louis, Louis’ pregnant belly and the girls, than to his tour or music, well then everyone who did not want to see that could kindly fuck off.

Because Harry was the most happy person in the world. Maybe except for Louis. Yeah, maybe Louis was even happier than Harry. But also Louis deserved to be happy more than Harry so everything worked out just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo my lovelies. (I am very surprised you are reading this bc that means you actually read the whole thing!)  
> This is my first ever fic. I hope it was not too bad so far. ;)  
> Don't know yet how long it's gonna get though I doubt that there are gonna be more than 5 chapters...
> 
> Comments (and Kudos...;D) are much appreciated, but don't feel pressured.... xP
> 
> Love yah all!


End file.
